Ask Booey #00001 – Head on my lap ?

Dear Booey,

I was at a party with a couple of my friends and this boy that I like (and I think he likes me too). At one point in the night, me and the boy were just chilling on the couch. I was sitting on one end and he was sitting next to me. Then, he switched and decided to lay down on the couch and rested his head on my lap. He did it so smooth and chill like it was nothing. We just chilled there for the next little while, silent, phone surfing.

Am I over thinking it? Is he trying to tell me something? Was that him making a “first move”? Are we going to get married and have 13 kids now?

Help! What does this all mean?

Confused, Maryland, USA


Dear Ms Confused,

I thank you in advanced for coming to me with your obviously stressful and potentially, life changing question.It is clear to me that why you decide to do next could/would potentially affect your current, or if you haven’t made one yet, your future 5 year plan. So it is obviously quite clear to me that we need to carefully disect what happened here, get all “Sherlock Holmes” on this guys, and try and figure out what it is exactly this guy is trying to do !?!?!

Unfortunately, there isn’t much information for me to go on to do this. Like most questions in this world, there are so many factors that we must carefully consider in order to make a valid conclusion. I can not, with in good conscience, help you answer such an important question, by going on such little information. I would hate to be the reason “so and such” happened, because you listened to my advice, and well, with little to no information, I am basically shooting in the dark, with my left hand on my phone tweeting (I’m right handed), and holding the gun side ways like a gang member (it’s a bad way of holding it).

But, while I do not have all the information needed to make a proper decision, you still do. So all I can do here is to advise you on the things that you would need to consider when making such an important decision. I mean, personally, if I were you in this situation, I would be considering things like:

1. What time of day it is.

Who knows. He could just be really tired and was just using your lap as a comfy pillow. I mean, unless you are boney as fuck, in which case, I would definately be reading into it a little bit more…. hmmm

2. In which month of the year did this happen ?

This is a very important question because it helps answer if it was daylight savings or not. When this happened, was he enjoying a day where he has an extra hour? or was it one of those 23 hour days? Sure, it is compensated some how, and the days are functioning as if they are 24 hour days, but your body knows !!!! Your mind may be tricked, but your body knows that it has been tricked and that in itself can be stressful on the human body! So daylight savings plays a massive part in solving this murder-like question! Especially if you a Newfie where the day light savings time goes back and forth by 1/2 an hour! THIRTY FUCKING MINUTES !!! It’s like they just couldn’t make up their fucking minds! It’s like they said: “Yea, ok, we’ll fuck with you and give this day light savings thing a try! But what’s the point? So we get more day light in the day? Well, life here sucks, so we don’t want THAT much more extra day light, so we will meet half way and only do half an hour!”

3. Was the moon out and if yes, was it a full moon?

We need to take into consideration the werewolves. Yea, they aren’t as cool as Vampires, but we still need to take them into consideration. But, also, since the beginning of time, or at least, since we started to write things down and learned how to keep records of things, it has been reported that strange things happen when the moon is out and it is full. So who knows, if it was out and full, that could be why his head found its way to your lap.

Makes sense, yea? And that’s some scientific shit right there too! Possibly even biblical! So, yea! Mos Def an important question to be considering! Moon? Out? Full? Werewolf? Poop Emoji?

4. Who was he talking to? Or what was he doing on his phone while he was on your lap?

It may not seem like an important question, but who knows? What if he was bragging that he had his head on your lap and, I dunno, was taking selfies to prove it? I personally wouldn’t think that something like that would be worthy of bragging, but I dunno how old you or this boy is. Maybe you guys aren’t even teens yet.. What comes before teens? Tweens? Maybe you guys are still tweens and something like a head on the lap would be considered 3rd base? To tell you the truth, I have NEVER EVER been able to figure out th baseball base anology system! I mean really! Ok, I know what a home run is, obvs, but what is considered 1st, 2nd, and 3rd? Wouldn’t it be all relative? I mean, if you grew up all up tight, then you’d probably consider holding hands 3rd base or something right? So is there a wiki page or something that sets a general, standardized meaning for each of these bases? Cause it has ALWAYS eluded me!

Anyways, phone! Who was he talking to? Because if he was bragging, then OBVIOUSLY, his head on the lap was some sneaky ass move that he was obviously proud of and felt the need to brag about!

But then again, was it being bragged in a good way? or a bad “oh look at this slut, she is soooo slutty. I have my head in her lap” kind of bragging? I dunno. I dunno this kid enough. You’re going to have to find out. I suggest you make a fake Twitter account, or whatver you Tweenie Boppers are using now adays, make one as a dude, and follow him! I’m sure you’ll find something out!

But be warned! Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to! I know that you’re technically not asking any questions and that you’re just making a fake profile and you’ll be getting whatever he is feeding you.. But you know what I mean! Don’t ruin this! SHUT UP!

5. Was his hair soft?

 Was it? Did you cop a feel? Don’t lie! He laid there for what probably felt like hours to you… I’m sure that in that time you were able to come up with some kind of move to run your fingers through his hair and then blame it on the wind or something!

So? Was it soft?

6. You know what…. How about you… JUST ASK HIM !?!?!?!?!

Seriously! Ignore 1 – 5 and just listen to this! What year is? The rules have changed. What was cool/not cool when your parents were kids, are most likely the opposite now. Like, it wasn’t cool back then for the girls to ask the boys out or whatever (I’m not that old. I don’t know this from experience or anything. I am just assuming). But I am sure that it would be cool now. Maybe not cool COOL, but I sure as fuck wouldn’t mind if a girl asked me out or whatever. Actually, no, I actually think that it WOULD be cool if that happened, so yea.

If you want to know what is up, stop beating the bush (no one likes that. It doesn’t matter what year it is or what generation this is. No one likes bush beating. It’s a waste of time. So just skip it and get right to the point!), step up, and ask him straight up!

Just tell him! Be like: “Yo, I need to know man. It’s been keeping me up nights. I can’t sleep. I need to know. You obviously know that I have a things for you. If you don’t know, well, now you do. So what was up with you and your head on my lap the other day? Was that a sign? Was that your move? You want to get married and have babies now? TELL ME???”

Don’t be THAT agressive, that would just scare him off. But trust me. I know that if you be straight and just ask him, he’ll give you an answer. It may not be the answer you are looking for, but at least you’ll get your answer and you will know. No more playing that wondering game and asking people on Quora what they think, or emailing me and asking me what I think.Because the people on Quora don’t know you or him. Me included. We don’t know what he is thinking. We don’t know anything. So none of us can tell you if he is madly in love with you or not. I mean, we can tell you that, but it would be a 50/50 chance that we got it right.

So if you want to know the honest truth, go ask the guy and get it from the source. Trust me, whatever his answer is, you’ll feel 100% better knowing! Even if he tells you that it was nothing and that you were reading way too much into it, it would be better than you going off us telling you that he is in love with you. Because really, you want us to tell you that everything is awesome and that he is in love with you. You want someone, anyone to tell you that so you can continue to live that fantasy you want to live in. And if that’s what you want to do, then by all means, keep doing what you’re doing boo boo. Don’t let me stop you. But if you are asking me and the people of Quora because you really want to know, well, I am telling you that the only way you will find out if by asking him. None of us here are Madame Cleo. I think she is actually dead… So no one can tell you the future or anything like that. So just ask him and stop listening to us (us, who knows absolutely nothing or knows ONLY what you want us to know. And if you are biased / love blind, so you will only tell us things that you want us to know. Facts that you might have bended a little, so that we see things the way that you WANT us to see it, or how you WISH they were, so that we will tell you what you want to know. True or not… right?)

So stop that and go ask him!

Remember, don’t go asking things you don’t really want to know the answer to… but you already opened that can of worms by asking me right?

So go ask him now and get you real answer !

-Booey

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